Prayers

I carefully burned

these certain words,

as I was taught,

onto one leaf at a time.

And once I saw that my leaf
was similar enough to the others,

I permitted myself to drop each one.

To watch them float down,

down, down out of sight.

Straight down, no Wind.

Soon my leaf crafting got better.
I was able to do a few at a time,
change the wording here or there.
Scattering them into the air,

I was amused at my new abilities.
I knew these would eventually
invoke the presence of the Wind.

But after a while I became anxious.

Where was this Wind?

I built up big piles of leaves

just so I could run at them

and kick them off.

Maybe a little emotion

could create some motion.

At some point I realized

you can't throw leaves very far,

though you can exhaust your arms trying.
They will go about as far

no matter how hard you throw.

Now I just sit at the edge

Sometimes,
staring through tears,
toward the horizon,

I shuffle off a few leaves,

without watching them fall.

They have no words.

Other times,
I pick up one leaf

and scrutinize it.

I run my gaze

up and down its maze

of veins
before launching it off
with a burst of disdain.

They have no words.

And one day,

I will lose my balance,

and slip off this cliff.

I can only hope that when I do,

there will be enough leaves to break my fall.