Caution: Contents Fragile

All the modern medicine and financial fortitude available does not change the fact that we're in an unpredictable state. We never know what the next day will bring, and sometimes that's a little unnerving.

Nothing makes you feel more fragile, more temporary, than having a child that is sick. She had a 104.5 temp and we knew if she kept throwing up that we would have to go to the hospital. We did not want to go to the hospital.

Thankfully she has been taking liquids and seems to be getting better.

But it struck me hard last night. One of the times her cries woke me out of sleep, I physically hurt the second I hit consciousness. I was scared deep. Very deep. Things seem to be amplified when you're tired....maybe it's that quietness that allows the clarity of God's voice.

I don't know what was more frightening: the realization that the more you love the more you have to lose, or the fact that I have to trust God with so much more than I thought. Every feeble breath of mine is His. Everything I have is His. And that's always been a warm and fuzzy thought until last night. She's not my little girl, she's His..... ......HIS. And do I trust Him enough? I'm not sure I do...I'm trying, but I can tell that this is always going to be a road, never a place.